It’s “Kitchen Time” on 7Two! And today, we’re joining Reza Mahammad on the Coconut Coast. Reza, strangely enough in this day and age, doesn’t seem to have a Wikipedia page – I know! – but the Good Food Channel and Performing Artistes have short bios. My favourite quotes from each:
The Observer Food Monthly described meeting Reza as “like being ambushed by a cross between Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and Freddie Mercury”.
Good Food Channel
Okay, so I had to Google Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen1, but even before I knew who he was I liked the description.
And from Performing Artistes:
He inherited a piece of 1950′s London, flock wallpaper and all, and set about inflicting his own brand of artistic flourish. Voila; from flock to Baroque! But with his inimitable concentration span of approximately five minutes, another revamp promptly followed. This time a cross between a Zeffirelli production and the Sistine Chapel.
Intrigued? Read more, after the jump.
In this episode, the Coconut Coast means Cochin, in Kerala, South India. Reza, with his precise, English-accented speech causes me quite a start when he announces that, in this port town on the Arabian Sea, he will shop ’til he drops in… Jew Town. This is not a South Park episode in disguise? There is something very old-fashioned about Reza; he could have stepped from the pages of an Evelyn Waugh novel and his tour of the antiques markets in Jew Street, Jew Town with his friend Georg only confirms this impression. He climbs a narrow, spiral staircase “to nowhere! A stairway to heaven!” and is disgusted by the dust his appreciation of the antiques leaves on his hands. Shagged out after cooing over so many artefacts, Reza finds his perfect piece – a lovely lounge: “I’m going to languish from the heat now!” he says as he puts his feet up on the antique.
Whilst it might not be obvious from the first ten minutes of viewing, this is a food show and Reza is not just an admirer of beautiful antiquities, but a chef and he is about to get to the cooking part. The first recipe is Dak Bungalow Chicken Curry and it’s not one of Reza’s recipes, but Sunitha Divakaran’s, a chef at what looks to be a posh beachside hotel. Even though he’s “learning” the recipe, he does quite a bit of talking over her as she’s trying to get the masala sorted out. The appearance of star anise in the dish causes him some joy, as he is “curry leaved and coconutted out, along with the mustard seeds, you know”. Since they are staples in Kerala, it seems like a rather negative stance to take. From my perspective – not having been overdosing on freshly ground coconut at all recently – even the start of this dish (frying whole shallots, chillies, coconut and curry leaves together) looks amazing.
Sunitha gives us a rundown on the history of Keralan cuisine, and notes that they don’t use coriander leaves, and avoid onions as well. The onion part of the explanation got a bit confusing for me, as she linked that to Kerala’s past as a vegetarian state, but I guess if you’re not a fan of onions or coriander, head to Kerala. There are worse things you could do, by the looks of things.
As Reza fries up the concoction, he grills Sunitha about her approaching wedding. He seems fascinated that it was an arranged marriage “oooooooh” he says, over about three octaves. It is an interesting story, though, since her parents did not arrange the marriage – she arranged it herself. How, I hear you ask, is that different to how people get married normally? “It’s not a love marriage,” she explains, as she found him on the net. They liked each others’ profiles and their horoscopes matched, so they decided to get married. As Reza congratulates her on being “modern”, he adopts a very Indian accent – echolalia, or “taking the piss”?
The debate over mortar and pestle versus food processors is interrupted by a barge carrying livestock, passengers and other goods. Reza is aghast that it is able to stay afloat – I’m not sure why, as it doesn’t appear to be close to distress – but I’m beginning to see the truth in the description of his attention span. He tries to remember where they were before that “distractor factor” appeared. To add even more confusion, the next ingredient Sunitha prepares is onion. “Patience and perseverance makes a Bishop of His Reverence” is Reza’s way of telling us that jammy onions take time, as well as a means of reminding us that he seems transported from another time.
Back to Sunitha’s wedding, we discover that there will be a 15 to 20 minute ceremony, with 2000 guests. Reza is as shocked as I am.
Oh, and the curry is now ready and is garnished with some fried curry leaves. No tasting takes place. It’s clearly a cooking show, not an eating show.
After a short break, we move on down to the water, where Reza is going to find out how the fishing nets – a rather complex series of teak structures left from the time of Kublai Khan – work. I can’t describe it, but it is an amazing sight.
Back to the cooking, and Sunitha is showing us Chuttulli Meen, which is fish with roasted onion and it’s a Jewish dish. She explains how it was adapted from a traditional recipe to use locally available ingredients, and Reza is pleased – and surprised – to hear that it contains no coconut. Containing coconut is clearly not mandatory on the Coconut Coast. Just as Sunitha is about to start explaining the wherefores and the how-tos of the dish, Reza interrupts to ask about the cannon behind them. She is dealing quite well with his limited attention span. The history lesson ends when Reza announces that “colonisation is out the window. It is now globalisation and commercialisation”.
The recipe does look nice – dry roasted aromatics and a fillet of fish. While the fish is cooking, Reza interrogates Sunitha further about her plans for marriage. She insists that she will not be cooking for her husband, since cooking is her profession. Reza is thrilled that she is such a “thoroughly modern Indian girl” and is also relieved that her fiance is a good cook. By now the fish is cooked and served, and credit is given to the family at the synagogue in Jew Town, who passed on the recipe. Again, no food is tasted.
Coconut Coast is a fun show. Reza Mahammad is a charming host and the cooking segments are warm and friendly. It’s not a how-to, more of a travelogue, but it certainly whets the appetite for Keralan food, as well as for a trip to Kerala itself.
Coconut Coast is on 7Two at 5.30pm weekdays and you really should watch it.
Thanks to RP for alerting me to the wonderfulness that is Coconut Coast!
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1. I recommend googling him. It’s fun! You will discover all sorts of things about him, such as this gem, from the Daily Mail:
He favours leather trousers, starched shirts with ruffled cuffs, fuchsia hunting jackets and billowing great coats. His hair, a glowing dark mane, is a high-maintenance celebrity in its own right.
Sounds like Matt Preston might have a role model, no?
Have ou made anything from this show, the curry’s sound amazing.
.-= Reality Raver´s last blog ..Masterclass Australia – How Many Anomalies In That Taste Test? =-.
I haven’t – yet – but am definitely going to try both of the recipes from the Cochin episode. I’ll let you know how I go. Hopefully I’ll be able to get some of that fresh coconut!
He’s hilarious and the show is colorful and delicious-looking