Food TV – The Restaurant

The Pitch: Raymond Blanc is back in the compelling third series which gives one couple a chance to open and run their own restaurant.

As the blurb says, The Restaurant is a successful show which is now in its third season. BBC Knowledge was showing the second season recently and I only stumbled upon it for the final episode, which had me hooked despite the fact that I’d missed all the preceding episodes and thus had absolutely no emotional investment in the outcome. This is the mark of a strong show in my view: it doesn’t rely on the viewer having established a “relationship” with the contestants, or having developed an understanding of the various personalities involved; it succeeds on the basis of a strong, well-executed concept.

A full recap, after the jump.

(You can skip straight to the the low down here.)

In this season-opener, we start by learning what M Blanc values in an inner-city brasserie. It must be run with precision, have clear branding, a smart location, and serve consistently fine food. This one is in Bristol, and has nine couples – chosen from “thousands” of applicants’ – loitering outside with intent. Half of the first couple is a chef who is itching to work with Blanc. Another couple is in it for a change of career; specifically, to escape having to work for someone else. This particular ambition is a reality show cliche and it always puzzles me. Why do people think self-employment is such a prize? And does it matter what they do, or is just “not working for the man” the ambition? I guess 1. it’s reality TV, not “realism” TV and 2. we’ll find out. Couples are made up of marrieds, BFFs, and even “army comrades”, amongst others.

There is a lot of scene setting in this episode, but a dearth of clear identification of contestants. Bristol looks very appealing in the late afternoon sunlight and is described by our narrator as a “commercial battleground” – “to run a restaurant in a place like this is the toughest job of all”. Of all! I hope the un-named couple who are itching to be self-employed are paying attention. Sarah Willingham – “an expert in big-brand High Street eating” (will have to Google lest I go through this series thinking of her as Ronald McDonald) – and “top London restaurateur” David Moore are introduced to us as Blanc’s investors – in the previous season I believe they were the eyes and ears (like the Trump offsiders).

The competitors enter the brasserie and are greeted by Blanc, who does his best to dissuade them from going any further, pointing out that the industry is suffering, and that customers are more and more demanding. He tells them that the foundation of his success is his strong, defined creative vision and sets them their first challenge: to cook a dish that represents their vision. To do this, they are divided into three groups, with three couples in each group. Our couples probably know each other even less well than we know them at this stage, and must negotiate for the dish they would like to present: entree, main or dessert. Naturally, everybody is after the main.

Once they’ve chosen their dishes the teams go shopping. Daisy and Nadine – the self-employment obsessives – are after some goat to capture the true taste of Nigeria. The local butcher has no goat, or tripe, so they go for mutton. Mmmm. Mutton! I love mutton – anybody know where I can get my hands on it in Melbourne? Daisy (or is it Nadine?) wants to put Nigerian food on the map, so it looks as though they might be able to fulfil the “clear vision” aspect of Blanc’s brief. She works for the London Underground, making announcements. Cockfosters! Nadine (or Daisy? it really would help early on if there were captions in these early stages) works as a midwife for the NHS, so she might have something to say to our narrator about hospitality being the “toughest job of all”. Their vision for the restaurant is modern; “not too Africanised”.

Shaun and Janet are a married couple and they are looking for what I would call gravlax, but what teh interwebz tells me is also known as “gravad lax” (and many other things). In a supermarket. Where they are calling out “do you have gravad lax?” and then pronouncing it in a number of different ways to bemused teenage shelf-stackers. They were teenagers themselves, once. Sweethearts, meeting when she was 13 and he was 17. She must be Swedish, given that there is Abba playing in the background and they are really committed to that “gravad lax” pronunciation. Oh, actually the Scandinavian connection is from when she lived there in the 1980s for an unspecified period. We leave their backstory behind as they settle on some packaged Scottish smoked salmon, which Janet notes “it’s not gravad lax”. Presumably it will do. I am going to watch this episode again so that I can drink whenever they say “gravad lax”. The narrator, in a disapproving tone, notes that the absence of gravad lax means that they will be putting “salmon from a packet” in front of Raymond Blanc.

We are given brief glimpses of some of the other couples – two women, a man who looks a bit like Tony Abbott (okay, he has enormous ears) and two blond men who look as though they’ve escaped from Westlife, or Bros, or Boyzone. Who knows what their creative vision might be? One of the women seems to be contemplating a pineapple, which causes the other to observe “but you don’t like pineapple”. “Well, I won’t be eating it!” is a response that would probably cause M Blanc to blanch.

The teams are all backstage in a bland office, running through the dish that they will be “pitching” to Blanc, Willingham and Moore. As watching people memorising menu descriptions is boring, the action shifts to Blanc’s kitchen where lunch is being prepped. The narrator helpfully explains how a restaurant works (orders come in and diners are served food, apparently).

Team one

The first team is allowed into a second kitchen and is given an hour to cook. An hour to cook MUTTON? This could be interesting. Joe and Sarah are using butternut in their vegetarian starter, Daisy and Nadine’s mutton dish will be the main, and Rebecca and Stephen are making a… chocolate fondant. Creative vision? Blanc will be the judge of that.

Rebecca and Steve’s clip shows them walking hand in hand down a busy street, wearing pink tops. The narrator tells us that they are married and have been together for 12 years. It was his car with the stereo that seems to have been the main attraction. Steve is the cook of the partnership, dreaming of a restaurant whilst running a hospital kitchen. Rebecca is an estate agent, so Steve hopes she can “sell good food as well as she can sell a bad house”. I hope none of her former clients are watching this. Back in the kitchen we learn that the chocolate fondant is Blanc’s signature dish. He is on hand to praise their courage.

Willingham and Moore are now on board to check out the kitchen skills. The narrator reminds us of their pedigrees: she runs restaurant chains; he has Michelin stars. As time ticks on, Steve checks his fondant. As the narrator reminds us that it should be molten in the middle, Steve looks worried: “it’s still slightly soft in the middle” he reports to Rebecca, who also looks concerned. I’m not sure that they know how fondants work.

As time is up, we finally get to Joe and Sarah’s story. Sarah is a food stylist who cooks in a cafe and envisages a French-English restaurant by water. She plans on having quite a wide vegetarian choice. Joe’s contribution seems to be twee names: Blancity Blanc, Mama Joe’s. Fortunately he abandons them as soon as he verbalises them. They are unable to sum up their vision for the clip, which doesn’t bode that well.

Tasting

Field mushroom with butternut squash, pesto and goats’ cheese
Joe stumbles as he tries to “pitch” the dish.

• Blanc: “Beautifully layered… really nice”
• Willingham: she would be happy if served it at a dinner party but admits to being totally confused by the concept of the restaurant. She gives Joe a chance to explain it more thoroughly and he does a better job this time, talking about growing his own vegies. She runs out of patience, though, when Joe gets tongue-tied over the “what is the name of your restaurant” question.

Nigerian Mutton Stew
Nadine presents the dish and briefly talks about putting Nigerian food on the map.

• Blanc: “Very, very chewy. The flavours are good, lots of spice, but you boiled your lamb. You murdered it.”
• Moore: likes the taste and concept but is concerned about the visual appeal.

Chocolate Fondant
Rebecca introduces it as the “ultimate chocolate pudding”, which raises a Blanc eyebrow.

• Blanc: “overcooked”
• Moore: “The dish looks to me like a restaurant dish”

Team two

Back in the bland room, Natalie and Sandy are practicing their pitch. They are mother and daughter and are selling their dish as reflective of multicultural Britain. Their vision is to have an Indian restaurant with a colonial theme, which might not satisfy Blanc’s “creative” requirement. It will be made clear that it is not a “curry ‘ouse”. Sandy (the mother) has Mauritian, English, French and Goanese heritage and her nickname (Missy Baba, I think) is being used for the restaurant – their concept seems very well-developed and they demonstrate a high level of insight, talking about their weaknesses as well.

Back in the kitchen, we learn that Natalie and Sandy will be presenting the “Missy Baba” concept in a fruit salad with a fresh coconut mousse. I think Natalie was the one holding a pineapple earlier. In order to make a start on their dish, they need to crack open their coconut and I am not the only one holding my breath and looking aghast as they decide to use a sharp knife and a rolling pin – Willingham looks as though she’s never seen anything like it before either. The coconut is finally cracked, but then Natalie goes at a tin of evaporated milk with the sharp knife. Who ARE these people? Blanc steps in to save the day… with a can opener.

Chris and Nathan aim to bring “top class food to mid-priced eating”. They’re from South London and Chris grew up with frozen food. His exposure to good food came with his training as a chef, but now “he is stuck cooking for a weight-loss boot camp in Wales” which is quite possibly the saddest job description I can imagine. No wonder he’s all “help me, Raymond Blanc, you’re my only hope”.

For today’s challenge, they are working on a main course of pork Wellington, which is a far cry from nuts and seeds but is, apparently, a “tried and true” recipe. The narrator seems concerned that it’s a lot to do in an hour and Blanc is conferring with Chris over timings, so clearly this could be an issue. Chris reassures Blanc that it can be done in 20 minutes. “And how long do we have?” “15 minutes.”

“English peas are in season, so friends Frances and Lucy, are marking their fresh and local concept with scallops on a pea puree.” That sounds nice, if not particularly original – in the 2009 UK Masterchef everyone was doing scallops on pea puree. It does seem a bit odd, though, that the first we see of them cooking is a shot of one of them emptying a packet of frozen peas into a pan. Moore is also curious, but our Frances (or Lucy – we haven’t been properly introduced) tells him that the frozen peas are merely a backup in case the fresh peas don’t work. He still looks unconvinced.

There’s a problem with Missy Baba’s coconut mousse, which is separating and they don’t seem to have a clue as to how to save it. Blanc steps in with advice, which they seem a bit skeptical about, but they decide to follow it. Having averted that disaster, he now heads over to the pea puree station to find out why the contestants have been simmering fresh peas for fifteen minutes. Frances/Lucy tells him that she’s never used fresh peas before, but guesses that they’d take longer. He raises an expressive eyebrow and walks away.

With five minutes to go, the Wellington is a complete mess, so Chris is going with a pork dish sans pastry. “Every single person is having a petit catastrophe” whispers Willingham, with unnecessary French. Blanc agrees: “We have the pork Wellington which turned out to be Waterloo”. I’ll be the editors are miffed that they’ve used up their Abba allocation for the episode.

Tasting

Scallops with pea and mint puree, bacon, and a rocket salad

• Moore: thinks the dish looks rustic and simple, which is a compliment
• Blanc: “what a shame, and what a struggle you had with your peas!” He ticks them off for talking “freshness” but cooking peas for 25 minutes.
• Willingham: questions whether sourcing locally is feasible.

Roast pork with parsnip mash and a rhubarb puree.

Nathan explains that they are called “Rags to Riches” and goes over the good-food-at-a-reasonable-price concept.

• Moore: (surprised) “Tastes good! Tastes really good! And it looks like a restaurant plate.”
• Blanc: is worried that it was meant to be their signature dish and it was stripped back to basics.

Coconut mousse and tropical fruit

• Sandy gives a very rehearsed speech, but Blanc wants to tell her about their concern over their kitchen safety.
• Blanc: “Based on the quality of this dish and what I’ve seen today, I’m going to ask you to leave now”.

Wow.

Chris and Nathan look shocked and even Willingham looks gutted. The contestants in team three, who haven’t even been up to cook yet, all look shattered when Natalie and Sandy tell them what has happened. I did notice that the Lucy/Frances team smiled at the announcement – I think they realised they’d dodged a bullet.

Team three

Blanc comes into the kitchen to tell our contestants that they have an hour, and Boyzone is grinning through his Bieber-like mane. As Blanc finishes his spiel, he points at Boyzone. “That’s twice you have winked at me. Can you tell me why you are winking at me?” It’s amazing how different it would be coming from Ramsay; Blanc just seems genuinely bemused. Apparently Boyzone is just nervous. This gets even more confusing when we get the team clip: they are friends called JJ and James. If they weren’t indistinguishable from one another before…

JJ is an “award winning cocktail maker” and he runs a bar in central London with James, whose accent betrays him as an Orstraylian. JJ would love to have a little country pub “up north somewhere” to (and I may have misheard this) “enjoy the empire”. I have no idea what he’s talking about. They are going to make a pear and strawberry crumble.

We are reminded that Janet and Shaun were unable to source Gravadlax at the local Tesco, and the furrowed brow of the approaching Blanc suggests that perhaps packaged smoked salmon might not be the substitute they needed. He investigates the plastic packaging with amused curiosity, but says nothing.

Main course is by Barney and Badger, our army comrades. Barney is an army chef and Badger is “ex-logistics”. Badger establishes himself as more bouncer than maitre d’hotel, interviewing that he’ll “deal with (customers) in a business-type fashion but if there’s any messing about though or I’m not happy with the behaviour they’ll be asked to leave the premises”. So… their concept is what, exactly? Well, we don’t know, yet, and it’s pretty clear that they are only a “they” for the purposes of this exercise – Badger “recruited” Barney and they have only known each other for eight weeks. Still, Barney’s a confident chap – confident that he doesn’t really have any weaknesses.

They are making a sirloin steak with a “rich jus”. The narrator mischievously points out that they are using supermarket stock, but I think packaged smoked salmon might trump that. Barney realises that the stock is too salty and Blanc queries the need to use a packaged product. Barney does seem to know his way around, explaining that he couldn’t make a proper beef stock in an hour, which might satisfy Blanc. At any rate, he’s bound to be more impressed by anything Barney turns out than what Janet and Shaun are putting up – grated salad is all she’s actually preparing to go with the piles of salmon.

JJ and James are working on their crumble and the narrator helpfully reiterates their restaurant concept: picnic food indoors. He also reminds us that JJ is more comfortable mixing drinks and he certainly looks nervous. Not to Moore’s eyes, though: “Very, very cocky” is his comment to Blanc.

Janet and Shaun have finished plating up their packaged antipasto and Janet is making sure Shaun is on top of the menu. “Carrot in what?” “Mustard” “Think! Think! Lime…” “Oh, lime vinaigrette”. This isn’t going to go well for them, but I’m not sure that Sandy and Natalie haven’t made their pathway a little easier.

Barney is worried about his jus, with good cause if Moore’s expression on tasting is anything to go by. He’s on the verge of panicking, but he’s upfront with Blanc, telling him that it’s too salty, what he’s done to try to bring it back, and that he’s out of ideas. No hints are forthcoming so he add more sugar.

Tasting

Salmon and a salad

• Moore: He’s not impressed by look of the plate.
• Blanc: Reminds them that they had a chance to impress and they brought him the worst smoked salmon he’d ever had.
• Shaun explains that they know they can do more, and Willingham points out that the judges don’t know that.

Steak with creamed potatoes and horseradish with a beef stock.

• Blanc: “I found the sauce so, so salty and so sweet at the same time. And acid.”
• Barney explains himself with, I think, some success although the judges are poker faced.

Devonshire cider pear and strawberry tart-sorry-crumble

• Blanc: “That’s not a crumble! That’s a dough!” He’s concerned that diners will get indigestion.
• Willingham: Wants to know how the dish fits in with their concept and James goes through the picnic thing which confuses everybody.

Judging

Even though one pair has already been ousted, there could be another to go. Willingham sees some potential amongst the competitors, but doesn’t specify where that lies. Blanc, surprisingly, likes Steve of the dry fondant. Or… maybe I misheard? I played it back a couple of times and it really seemed as though he said that Steve was a “favourite”. Moore likes team Daisy and Nadine. Behind the scenes Janet is upset, but it’s not all bad news – Moore thinks they pitched it badly, that they should have sold it as “smorgasbord” and it would have been better. Joe and Sarah are quietly confident, but Blanc didn’t feel the love and Willingham practically declares them clueless.

Whose ideas have failed to convince Blanc? Joe and Sarah’s vision is declared the worst and they depart, leaving packaged smoked salmon to fight another day.

The Low Down

The Restaurant is different to Masterchef and it can’t usefully be compared to My Kitchen/Restaurant Rules, either. If the set-up is to be believed, Blanc is “auditioning” partners; he will be putting his reputation and money on the line and is very businesslike in his approach to the contenders. When Joe was talking about his vegie patch, Blanc reminded him of the scale of production he’d need to sustain a restaurant kitchen. Joe’s response – “well, fingers crossed!” – was met with a gentle, but solemn, rebuke: “that is the wrong thing to do when you start a restaurant, fingers crossed”.Similarly, the frozen peas used by Frances and Lucy would quite possibly have been overlooked in the other shows, but Moore is right onto it.

This is a really entertaining and engaging show and I’d really recommend you check it out.

The Restaurant is on BBC Knowledge at 7.30pm on Thursdays.

Note: the number of teams who were filmed driving around in top-down convertibles was interesting. And there are still people denying climate change. Pfft.