Global Kitchen: Michael explores the globe and finds that formerly exotic flavours of the world can become everyday mainstream.

Chef at Home is soothing background food TV.  Michael Smith is a pleasant host, presenting a range of simple dishes for everyday cooking.  I’ve never been prompted to pick up a pencil to note anything down; much of what he cooks is already in my repertoire, although sometimes it prompts me to think of cooking something I haven’t had for a while.

Before today, I’ve never thought to blog it before, either.  It’s probably a little unfair that I was prompted to do so by today’s episode, since it was the off-note that had me reaching for the notebook.  Today’s focus was on Indian dishes and I really only started to take note when aloo gobi was mentioned.  I love aloo gobi and was interested in Michael’s approach – clearly he was presenting Indian food to an audience who might be intimidated by it, and he did a good job of showing that it was easy and unintimidating.  He made a simple palak paneer to go with it, having made his own paneer (for some reason he didn’t go into any details of how to do this, despite saying how easy it was) and all seemed pretty peachy.  After this, there was some sort of turnover thing from an unspecified part of Asia and I started to lose interest until I heard him comment that “dishes from Asia go really well with Indian food” in a kind of who’da thunk it way.  I’m not sure what part of the world he thinks India is, nor what – exactly – he means by the generic “Asian flavours” he went on to talk about.  Look, it didn’t turn me off deciding to put a version of aloo gobi on the menu for tonight (looking forward to it!) or dredging up my paneer recipe, but it did make me question his overall credibility on Asian food.

Am I being pedantic? Probably, but there’s enough food programming to rule out the ones that don’t hit the mark.  I won’t turn it off when it comes on (hello, Good Chef/Bad Chef), but I doubt I’ll be paying it even the scant attention I was before today.

It was never on my regular viewing schedule anyway, largely because Foxtel follows quite a bizarre screening schedule for it.  It is on six times a week, but this week’s episode was on today, and will be repeated twice tomorrow; there are two new episodes on Tuesday with repeats on Wednesday, and… well, I can’t figure out the pattern.  Check the Lifestyle Food Chef at Home page or the Foxtel Guide for further details.

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Families put their reputations to the test, relationships on the line and decades-old recipes in the firing line, when they come up against each other in a head-to-head cook off.

The blurb captures the essence of this show fairly well, if with a pinch of predictable hyperbole. If you’ve seen the original British Masterchef and are dumbstruck by its transformation into our local version, then perhaps you can imagine this as a British My Kitchen Rules, with the added stipulation that the pairs must be from a single family. It’s low-key competitive cooking, with most of the drama being in the promotional para above. Paul Merrett and Amanda Lamb are the judges and their job is to choose between the pairs competing each episode. Each pair has an hour to prepare their three course menu; the winning pair is sent on the next round.

In the episode I watched, two sisters from Surrey, with a “traditional English food” background competed against a mother and daughter, who talked about their Iranian-Armenian heritage. The three course menus each side put up were fairly dull and the most-commented upon aspect of the competitors seemed to be how calm they were. The result was close to a tie – the judges were underwhelmed by both teams and, for a while, it seemed that they were reluctant to see either team again.

Will I watch Family Food Fight again? With Lifestyle Food as my background viewing, I wouldn’t turn it off or switch over, like I would for Good Chef/Bad Chef, but I’m not linking it and wouldn’t be distraught if I never saw it again. The concept is a bit ho-hum and needs something to lift it. Whilst it is good to see a food show where the emphasis is not on manufactured tension or interpersonal drama, this only works if the food is interesting which – at least in this episode – it wasn’t.

Family Food Fight is on Lifestyle Food on Mondays at 8.30pm.

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Poh moves out of her kitchen and heads off overseas – to Malaysia, the country where she was born. She is on a three-week trip starting in Kuala Lumpur to find out more about her heritage and traditional Malaysian dishes.

Poh wasn’t one of my favourite contestants in the first season of Masterchef. Her inclusion in the competition came after the judges rejected her first dish and told her to go home and cook something “from the heart” (or similarly cliché location). Her second dish got her through and the show did its darndest to eliminate that early mis-step from viewers’ minds by constructing a “Poh cooks from her heritage” narrative. When she was brought back as a “second chancer”, grudge-holding viewers (which could well be a set of, say, one) seethed at “third chancers”. Of course, when the final came down to Julie versus Poh, I would have preferred to see Poh through, as at least she’d consistently shown competence and creativity in the kitchen.

Coming second did not damage Poh’s food-related ambitions; the ABC recognised her potential and signed her up for a series to fill the old Cook and the Chef spot. I tuned into the first couple of episodes and, whilst she seemed very natural on TV, the giggling and fawning over guest chefs grated. Was that Poh? Perhaps it was just me, because after a few weeks I tuned back in and have become a regular viewer.

Why does Poh’s Kitchen work for me where Delish failed? After all, Julia Jenkins got into the competition without second or third chances and showed her skill early on by “beating the chef”. The format of “Poh’s Kitchen” is really well suited to addressing the reservations I have about the credentials of hosts. Rather than set Poh up as an expert in all things, she teams up with a different chef each week and takes on the role as the viewer’s proxy, asking questions, prompting for further details on produce or technique. She, in turn, cooks Malaysian dishes and calls in family members to demonstrate traditional dishes that she wants to learn. She is an enthusiastic student and teacher, deferring to the expertise of others but able to make connections between processes she uses in her food and what the experts are doing in their dishes.

The most recent episode was a slight departure from the kitchen-based regular episodes, as Poh was back in Malaysia (see blurb, above). As a big fan of KL, it was great to see the city scenes, and I did want to jump through the screen to eat on Jalan Alor – although I would have gone for bak kut teh, frog porridge or beef ball noodles, not durian. At her Grandmother’s house in KL, she made Pohpia under the supervision of one of her aunts, identifying unusual ingredients (such as the yam bean), describing their properties (water chestnutty) and suggesting alternatives. A visit to the Batu Caves was followed by an excellent roti canai demonstration, and then it was off to check out some nasi lemak (with an excellent tip for fluffy rice: use three different rice types to maximise the chances of getting “fresh” rice). Finally chef Ismail Ahmad cooked up a couple of Malay dishes – snail curry and young jackfruit curry. I’m not sure whether Poh just has a production team who are able to scout the most personable guests around (in the case of Ismail Ahmad, he was a real character – addressing the viewer through the screen), but I suspect her personality and the obvious delight she shows in the creations of her guests does a lot to put them at ease.

Nobody is more surprised than I am that I’ve become a Poh fan, but I was pleased to see that the show has been renewed for a second season. We need more Poh!

= = = = = = = = = = =

Poh’s Kitchen is on ABC1 on Wednesdays at 6.30pm. It is repeated on Saturdays at 11.00am and on ABC2 at 6.00am on Thursdays. Recipes are available on the show’s homepage, and full episodes are available on iView.

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In this clip, we not only get the Nutter magic, but the special gnominess that is Anthony Worrall-Thompson.  And that’s not all!  A recipe for Lancashire style Welsh rarebit – really – is yours, if you want it. Enjoy!

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MasterChef Australia judge Gary Mehigan and nutritionist Janella Purcell bring their own styles of cooking for a food showdown. Today Gary makes a ricotta pudding and Janella cooks a chunky peasant-style soup.

Look, I’m not really going to go through this in a great deal of detail. I’ve got the Food Channel on in the background to warm me through this bitterly cold day and have been enjoying wacky Ming and the Barefoot Contessa… and now this has come on. Usually I turn it off because it pisses me off no end, but today? I’m sharing with you.

Why does it piss me off so? I don’t like the morality attached to the good/bad dichotomy; that there is food that is inherently “good”, or “bad”. Nor do I like the peculiar smugness with which Janella presents her “superior” food, or the fact that Gary’s sugar-, cream- and fat-laden creations are set in contrast with her freekeh salads and farro soups without the benefit of any narrative of balance, moderation, or even a dash of STFU.

Today’s episode is focussed on the food of Italy, which means that the food of Italy will provide a minor distraction to Janella as she makes fun of Gary’s weight, which she can apparently do because she’s the “good” chef and a woman. He cops it because… he’s been told to? The producers think this nonsense is entertaining?

Janella’s recipe is the first one up today, and she starts with “lots” of extra virgin olive oil. Gary raises a quizzical eyebrow, given that whenever he adds oil to anything she responds with a variation on “piggy piggy pig pig”. She gets away with it, though, because it’s the good oil (and – did I mention? – she’s the good chef).

Gary is cooking octopus and discusses how it takes a long time to cook as it needs to be looked after to remain tender. Or something. I lost track when Janella interrupted this with “just like women!”. Perhaps I’m on edge after reading Bettina Arndt’s ridiculous SMH “opinion piece” on Julia Gillard being a bad role model for Australian women (and then Mia Freeman’s inevitable look-at-Mia response)¹ but I am just exhausted by women who use their public profiles to display attitudes that would be decried as obsolete, patronising and offensive if they were held by men.

Okay, I’m turning off. That fake (at least I’m hoping it’s fake) “i’m so dumb!” squeal-giggle shtick that Janella has just demonstrated has done me in. Janella (having been asked to switch on a food processor): “Are you trying to trick me, Gary?” Simper. Gary: “Huh?” Janelle: “You’ve turned the food processor backwards”. Seriously.

Good Chef, Bad Chef is on Lifestyle Food, but I recommend finding something less maddening to do, such as cleaning the grouting.

1. No, I don’t follow Mia on Twitter, but – inexplicably – I follow someone who does and her response was retweeted by them. I feel dirty.

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Join Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and Sue Perkins in this quiz show that tests your knowledge of all things gastronomic. Features special guests James Martin and Charlotte Church.

This Channel 4 show made its local debut on Wednesday and follows a tried and tested format: a snarky host, two teams, each with a chef acting as “captain” and a celebrity as their support. Of course, it’s difficult to distinguish between celebrity and chef these days. As the blurb promised, Hugh F-W is the head of one team and James Martin – who I haven’t seen before, but came with the “housewives’ favourite” tag, so is therefore clearly not new to television – headed up the other. Hugh was joined by Charlotte Church (a non-chef celebrity) whilst James had Ching-He Huang (mysteriously missing from the guide summary) who was introduced as a food writer and TV chef, tipping the scales in the James team’s favour as far as food knowledge was concerned. Hugh’s team had greater international celebrity status, though.

The format of the show – if such can be gleaned from a single viewing – is a series of quizzes and challenges.

Round 1 – ten of a kind

20 seconds to name ten types of a certain food. For Hugh, it was pasta shapes, of which he identified eight, followed by a set-up-for-the-laffs question about pasta puttanesca. James had 20 seconds to name ten types of cooking oil, followed by a question that must have been in the press at that time regarding a man in Zimbabwe substituting something (urine) for oil. Ching-He was asked to identify vegies that are served with a traditional British Sunday lunch and Charlotte had to name ten items from the menu of her local Chinese Restaurant, the Golden Well in Bridge End.

Round 2 – what the fork is it?

Contestants try to work out what an unusual appliance or implement does. In the first round, Hugh tried to figure out the purpose of a bright red octopus-shaped plastic implement, deciding – after much hemming and hawing – that it was a vegetable cutter. No points to his team, as Sue demonstrated that it was designed to be used to turn cooked hot-dogs into… well… octopus-shaped cooked hot-dogs. No doubt Hugh regrets not using the design as a clue to the purpose. Ching-He and James managed to pretend they didn’t know what their implement was long enough for Sue to make a few vibrator jokes.

Round 3 – skills challenge

The team captains (right handers) had to prepare a hamburger with their left hand. Right hands were tied to their partners’ left hands, and partners were allowed to contribute a right hand. High concept, clearly designed for maximum mess and potential for injury.

Round 4 – palate test

A dish was blended up and served to the teams to identify. Hugh and Charlotte managed to identify their Tricolore Salad fairly easily, but James and his team-mate struggled a bit with their KFC Zinger Burger. James started off with “hot and spicy” and followed up with “bloody awful”. He managed to identify it with a few hints and was outed as a fan of the dirty bird. Hugh snuck in a quick comment about the unhappy lives of the Colonel’s birds before the round ended.

Final round – buzzer questions

Peremptory trivia question round (won, in this instance, but Hugh and Charlotte).

The winner is announced and the credits roll.

This is a fluffy show which would probably serve as reasonable background TV for a task like doing dishes or preparing dinner. It’s not a how-to food show, imparting practical advice; it’s a trivia competition designed for maximum double entendre. Worth a look.

Lifestyle Food, 9.00pm, Wednesdays

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It appears that Simply Baking has ended.  I have been so looking forward to settling down for my dose of the Nutter magic.  So much so that I couldn’t quite believe it when I went through my recordings and couldn’t see it.  Naturally, I blamed its disappearance on the other occupant of the house with opposable thumbs, which was not as satisfying as usual given that he’s away.

Eventually I accepted that I’d have to survive a Nutterless week, and scrolled through the program guide to reschedule the recording. The slot that had held Simply Baking is now home to Coastal Kitchen and I will never see the Sandman flame shirt again.

Sob.

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Anyway, I have entrusted today’s Simply Baking to the IQ, so will have it safely recorded for when I get home.  Of course, I doubt that I will do the Nutter justice if I were to watch and blog after Friday drinks, so I will get the post up as soon as I can tomorrow.

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Foundations: Australian cricket legend Matthew Hayden is on a quest to achieve a more self-sufficient, sustainable and enriched lifestyle for his family.

Now that bodes ill. There’s nothing at all objectionable in the synopsis; in fact, it seems laudable. What will I do if Mr Hayden is not obnoxious? How will I cope if I have to change my opinion of him?

The show opens with a greeting from the man himself, who reassures us that this quest is only going to take six weeks. There will be guests, including the local producers who inspire him, and – if the previews are anything to go by – Andrew Symonds. Oh dear. I hope he’s in a later episode, as I didn’t sign up for Haydos and Roy.

After the credits, a montage of Haydos’ performances backed by the dulcet tones of Nine’s commentary team reminds us why we should give a rats about this particular personal journey. After explaining that part of the reason for this endeavour is an attempt to “relive [his] own childhood [and] hone in on the simple things in life”, Haydos is off to the chicken coop to collect eggs, commentating the process as though the hens are consciously involved in a sporting endeavour. I guess he’s got to have a selling point and the cricketing is the selling point, but if it continues it will be too much for this viewer to bear.

This is the first episode, which might account for the overdose in introduction: wife, kids, landscape designer, mum, dad and brother. This is where I discover that I can blame Kellie Hayden for the series of cookbooks.

Where’s the food? Find out, after the jump.

The first food of the show comes with breakfast. There’s a cursory reference to a pancakes recipe during a scene at the stove. Haydos then tells us he doesn’t eat breakfast, but is pretty much hungry all day, and reels off a recipe for… something. Not sure what. It seems pretty stream-of-consciousness, which is a bit odd and not particularly easy to follow. Okay, so recipes for pancakes and whatever egg thing he cooked in his skillion (sic) are part of most people’s standard repertoire (pancakes) or intuitive (egg thing), but I’m conditioned to expect more conventional demonstrations and lists of ingredients in these shows. Perhaps that’s something I need to let go.

We head back to the family farm in Kingaroy where dad and brother reminisce about Matt to a background of family photos and old home videos. We join Matt in the kitchen with his mum for the next recipe, which is a chocolate macadamia pudding, and I realise I’m being lulled into the rhythm of this show. It’s very amiable and if he’s not a laidback country boy and loving family man, then he’s an excellent actor.

Also in this episode:

• the landscape designer presents the scheme for the permaculture garden, which gets the seal of approval from Matthew, Kellie and their daughter
• Matthew visits an established garden near Noosa and makes pizze with the produce grown there
• construction begins on the garden at home
• curries are made for the landscaping crew

Lifestyle has all the recipes up on their website, which is just as well – the run-throughs on the show are not step-by-step, but that seems to be in keeping with it as a “lifestyle” rather than a straight food show. The macadamia pud is something I would have a go at for a Sunday dinner, and his version of the dahl looks straightforward and tasty. Having the landscape designer help out with the curries provided a natural way of explaining some of the techniques and she and Haydos had a comfortable chemistry together.

Will I watch this again? Actually, I might (and this surprises me). It’s not really the kind of thing I thought I’d like.  I don’t have acreage – hell, I don’t even have a backyard – and my horror at the concept of a TV show hosted by Matthew Hayden was real and visceral.  I won’t be tuning in at 6.30 on Sundays, but will check in on it in the recordings when I get a chance. Mainly because I want to see how the garden shapes up, although I am also curious as to whether the magic of the show can overcome my antipathy towards Andrew Symonds as easily as it did my anti-Haydenism.

Other observations

• Matthew Hayden calls the chooks “girls”, and this is – unfortunately – enthusiastically picked up by the landscape designer.
• he has an “Aunny” Sheila and Uncle Cec. Bless! He really is the ultimate ‘strayan.
• he has a full-on MAN BBQ – outdoor kitchen.
• there was some weird editing, in addition to the rather rambling opening. As the permaculturist was describing the three ethics of permaculture (care for earth, people, community), Haydos interrupted with “I’ve never even heard of half of these!”, which seemed a bit dense. “I’ll give you some cuttings,” she replied.
• it’s a cliche fest, although that’s to be expected I guess. We even get “the circle of life” less than ten minutes in. The landscape designer gives us “all the ducks in line” and “going to hell in a handbasket” in one sentence.

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Nutter’s shirt today has no flames, unfortunately (if you are still reading, Dawn, it’s the lemon shirt that launched your creation all those weeks ago!). We start with a brief introduction to the concept of teabreads (which, I suspect, are what we might know of as “tea cakes”). We will be getting three recipes today: two sweet, one savoury, and unfortunately ALL healthy. Of course, my interest is piqued by the concept of the “millennium” version, which will apparently contain “all those delicious new flavours that are coming around at the moment”. What will they be? I’m unsuccessfully casting my mind back ten years to try to identify the flavour revolution, so am very keen on what we’ll see.

The recipes, after the jump…

Banana and Pecan Loaf

110g unsalted butter
110g caster sugar
2 eggs
110g plain flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1 touch bicarb soda
55g whole-wheat flour
2 large (or three medium) bananas
55g pecans
lemon juice
1-2 tsps vanilla essence

Preheat oven to 180.

Mix the butter until it’s light and creamy and then mix in the caster sugar. You can use a food processor (or, presumably, a stand or hand-held electric mixer) but Nutter is going great guns – and will have great guns at this rate – with a wooden spoon. Interestingly, he prefers the lo-fi way of doing things, because he thinks there’s more washing up with electric gadgets. Really? Anyway, once that’s all creamy and loovely (that’s not a direct quote, but the Nutterisms are catchy) add your eggs, one at a time, to ensure the mixture doesn’t curdle. Of course, if you like your cake mixes to look like scrambled eggs, you can ignore this advice. Once you’ve wazzed in your last egg, add the dry ingredients, except for the whole-wheat flour, via a sieve. Once they’re nicely incorporated, add the whole-wheat flour. If you’ve ever tried to sift this, Nutter thinks you’re a moron, as his little crazy gesture reveals.

Sometime in the next few weeks, Nutter will teach us how to test our eggs for freshness. Not now, mind, but in an unspecified upcoming episode. He sure knows how to keep his audience loyal.

Once all the dry ingredients are mixed in, it’s time to “transform” this into a banana and pecan teabread with – you guessed it – the addition of bananas! And pecans! Mash the bananas in a bowl and add the lemon juice to prevent discolouration. Add the mash to the mix, then add your chopped nuts, punning lazily on “nuts”. Add the vanilla essence.

Pour the mix into a lined loaf tin, levelling the top off, and then pop into the oven for 50 to 60 minutes. Nutter is not holding all the baking tips back for a future episode – he goes over the skewer test for done-ness for the uninitiated.

Once the loaf is cooked, don’t forget to garnish with a couple of banana slices, some sugar syrup – no, really! – and the inevitable dusting of icing sugar.

Carrot and Apple Buns

This is even better than the banana and pecan loaf, Nutter assures us, so bad luck if you’ve jumped too early and committed yourself to the first recipe. That’ll teach you!

170g unsalted butter
100g soft brown sugar
1 egg
1 tbsp water
140g carrots, grated on the “rough” side of the grater. You people with your fancy microplanes can work it out for yourselves
1 granny smith apple, skin on, grated
140g plain flour
1/2 tsp bi-carb soda
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp baking powder

Pre-heat oven to 180

Mix the butter until it’s aerated and creamy and then add the loovely molassas-y sugar and mix well. Beat the egg lightly with the water, and then add bit by bit to your butter and sugar. While you’re grating, modify the initial instruction slightly so that people can feel free to use whatever apples they might have growing on their carrot trees at home. Laugh more than is probably strictly necessary at this slight bungle, and then suggest that you might start a gardening show next. Add the grated stuff to your mix and remark on how delicious it looks, despite the fact that it does look quite vomitous. “It’s a taste explosion!”.

Sift your dry ingredients into the mix and stir in thoroughly. You can now put the mix into a large tin, or into some patty pan cases, which is what Nutter is doing today. Pop into the oven for about 15 minutes, or until they pass the skewer and/or springiness test.

Serve with a selection of fresh fruit, which in the utopia in which Nutter exists, will be scoffed by the kids who will be seduced into healthy behaviour by the delicious apple and carrot buns. Or they’ll be blinded by the dusting of icing sugar. One or the other.

Millennium teabread (aka Spicy Cornbread)

Those wacky new flavours you’ve been on the edge of your seat for? “Thai” coriander and maize meal polenta!

2 eggs
450 ml buttermilk
55g melted butter
55g plain flour
1 tsp bi-carb soda
2 tsps salt
170g (trendy) polenta
350g tinned sweet corn kernels
4 tbsps chopped coriander
3 birdseye chillies, deseeded and finely chopped

Preheat oven to 200

Start beating your eggs lightly, then get distracted by the buttermilk, suggesting a delicious healthy drink of fruit juice and buttermilk mixed together. Does it sound delicious? Not really, but I won’t knock it until I’ve tried it. Add the buttermilk to the eggs, rather than your morning OJ, and then add the butter. Sift the dry ingredients into a separate bowl, and then add the “substance” called maize meal. Reassure people that, even though you’re using polenta, it’s not going to be nasty and bland while you mix it into the other dry ingredients. Fold carefully into the wet ingredients.

Now it’s time for the Nutter transformation (unfortunately this does not involve him tearing off the yellow shirt to reveal… the Sandman shirt). Apparently you can do whatever you want here, but my recommendation is to have a crack at what he does before going completely, ahem, nuts. Mix in the corn, commenting in a surprised way that it smells quite good. Add the shredded coriander and the chillies and mix in. It now makes an almost perfect colour match for the shirt, which is great – I was despairing of a match today.

Pour into a round tin lined with teflon paper. I’m a bit surprised by the choice of tin here – I’d be more inclined to go with a loaf, but that’s probably why I don’t have my own show. Level the mix off and bake for 25 to 30 minutes. Leave it in the tin for about 10 minutes to cool and serve slightly warm.

Serve with a delicious salsa of diced tomato, de-seeded cucumber, coriander, chilli and red onion mixed with a tablespoon of white wine vinegar and another of olive oil. Season to taste, dollop onto a wedge of the corny teabread, and avoid dusting with icing sugar if you possibly can.

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