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The McDonald’s advertising account executives are probably not aiming their commercials at me. I can’t remember the last time I ate McDonalds (possibly because it would have followed an irresponsible amount of drinking) and I can’t imagine ever being drunk enough to do that again (not because I’ve reached a higher plane of maturity, but because I tend to do my irresponsible drinking closer to home, far from the dubious temptations of a quick’n'dirty cheeseburger). There’s really nothing that could entice me to sample their product, so I am not surprised that the latest campaign leaves me cold. What I am surprised by is how confused I am by the ad. Perhaps I have inflated expectations of my levels of insight, but I had expected that McDonalds ads were too stupid for me, not that I was too stupid for them.

Here’s the ad that has me so befuddled:

\”I made the right choice\”

After I’d seen it the first time, I was gobsmacked. Stunned by the relentless pandering to the fragile male ego with the (professional, capable, career-woman) wife representing the (gorgeous, debonair, flirtatious) Simon as balding and spreading to her (balding, spreading) husband who smirks in his (misguided) confidence that he is a true prize. In “ad break” viewing, it seems as though the wife is perhaps deliberately bringing up her Simon story as a means of stoking her husband’s ego. She knows that he’s insecure, and that he remembers her dashing teenage suitor, and thinks that this re-telling of the reunion scene will banish the insecurities he’s carried throughout their marriage.

Then I watched it more closely.

Now, when she started on her little tale (“You’ll never guess who I ran into today!”) I think she had every intention of telling it like it was. Then, she registers his tone when he responds snarkily “yeah, I remember Simon from school” (notice the intake of breath, and her changed expression). Up until then, she had no idea of his simmering resentment of Simon, but now it’s clear. She decides – in the interests of protecting his delicate self-esteem – to reimagine the whole scene in a way designed to placate him.

Who is McDonald’s selling to with this? Surely not the “wives”, who might recognise this awful charade and would therefore be unlikely to respond positively to it being shown up in such a harsh light. Surely not the “husbands” who might start to question their wives’ sincerity whenever they are favourably compared with an unarguably handsome man. And it’s not the kids, who are embarrassed – and, quite possibly, terrified – by the revelation that their dad could be a similarly sad, pathetic, deluded little man.

Best possible scenario? The agency is deliberately white-anting Mickey Ds.